Click here for 👉Papa Married A New Wife (The Poem for the drama)
(A loud craaaackkk! sound is heard from the kitchen, Number 2 rushes from the sitting room to the kitchen)
Number 2 (hands on waist, facing the bent figure of Number 5 who is clearing broken pieces of the plate): So it’s you who have decided to break all the plates in the house?
Number 5: Haba it’s just— (stops mid-sentence as Number 2 raises her right hand)
Number 2: Will you keep quiet? Who gave you the audacity to talk back to me? (Number 3 walks in)
Number 3: What’s going on? (Looks at Number 5 with disgust)
Number 2 (claps hands & laughs mockingly): This thing thinks because our husband can afford plates she can break all the ones in the kitchen.
Number 3 (long hiss): Apa![i] Can you blame her? (Stretches to take something from the kitchen cabinet) They don’t have plates like these ones where she comes from.
(Number 5 clicks her tongue & carries on with cleaning the plates she had just washed)
Number 2: Disrespectful rat! It’s your mother at home you’re clicking your snake tongue at, not me.
Number 3 (Long hiss): Alaileko![ii]
Number 5 (abandons the plates then faces Number 3): Whom are you calling uncultured?
Number 3 (moves closer to Number 5 then pokes her chest with the plastic cup she took from the kitchen cabinet earlier): You! I’m calling you uncultured because it is what you are. You have no respect for those before you. You click your—
(Number 2 smiles as she watches the exchange between Number 3 and Number 5. Number 4 enters nods a greeting at Number 2, grabs a nearby stool to sit and watch)
Number 5: Those who deserve it not those who act like wild dogs earn respect! (She slaps off Number 3’s hand from her chest making the cup drop)
Number 2 and 4 (gasps at the same time): Mo gbe![iii]
(Number 3 makes her way to the kitchen door then locks it)
Number 2: This girl doesn’t know anything. (Pulls up Number 4 who reluctantly stands) We’ll teach you a lesson today!
Number 4 (mutters): I’d rather watch. (Number 2 glares at her) What? Why are you looking at me like that? Face the person who insulted you.
Number 3: Is it me you’re calling a wild dog? (Standing close to Number 5 who looks unbothered)
Number 5: Yes you! What will you do about it?
Number 3 (turns to Number 2 and Number 4 with a wide smile on her face): She’s asking what I’ll do about it. (Turns round to face Number 5 again) I will teach you what your mother didn’t teach you.
(Number 3 pulls Number 5’s blouse, then gives her a sounding slap)
Number 5 (holds her throbbing cheek then quickly grabs a stirring stick from the sink behind her): You’re just a frustrated mad woman! (She yells)
Number 3 (to number 4 and 2 without facing them): She says I am frustrated. She still has the mouth to talk and thinks that the stick she’s holding will stop me from touching her. (To Number 5) You are the mad and frustrated one. If you weren’t mad or frustrated because no man your age will marry you, tell me what you’re doing with a man old enough to be your grandfather?
Number 5: It’s none of your business you shameless old—
(Number 3 and 2 pounce on her before she could finish her sentence. Number 2 pulls her left leg making Number 5 land on her behind screaming, struggling and cursing. Number 3 collects the stirring stick from her and hits Number 5 with it severally before throwing it towards the door.)
Number 4 (half-heartedly as she opens a packet of biscuits): Stop fighting.
(Someone bangs on the kitchen door from outside while Number 3 and 2 deal with Number 5)
The voice: I said, open this door! Are you people crazy? Open the door!
Number 4 (grumbles as she makes her way to the door): They won’t let someone eat and watch this live drama in peace.
(Number 1 bursts in as Number 4 opens the door)
Number 1 (pulls Number 3 and 2 from a struggling Number 5): What sort of nonsense is this? What is wrong with you people?
Number 4: I told them to stop fighting but they didn’t listen to me (They all glare at her) What? Why are you looking at me like that? (Grumbles then exits the kitchen)
Number 1 (to Number 3, 2 and 5): Why have you decided to turn the kitchen into a mad house?
(Number 2, 3 and 5 talk at once)
Number 1 (irritated look): Will you shut your mouths?
Number 2 & 3 (together): But she broke—
Number 1: What if she broke plates? Are they yours? Did you bring them along when our husband brought you to this house?
Number 5 (mutters): Please ask them?
Number 1: What did you say?
Number 5: Nothing
Number 1(stares at 5 as she speaks): I am not in support of our husband’s lifestyle but do you see me acting like a mad woman? (To Number 2) You should put them to order not join in.
Number 2: Iyale mi[iv] I am not Jesus.
Number 1 (long hiss): You want to kill yourselves over a man who will marry another in seconds. I do not pity you. (Mutters as she exits the kitchen) He never picks the good ones. All he does is bring shafts and noisemakers for me to deal with. I wonder where he gets them!
[ii] Uncultured/ Can also mean disrespectful
[iii] I’m in trouble
[iv] Mother of the house